The important men in my life :)

Do you remember the time when we were younger hanging out with the girls and start dishing out our ideas on what our dream guy would be like. When I was younger, my idea with a dream guy was same as others I guess..the cute boy band type[At that time was pretty clueless on the tall, dark and handsome types]..Actually, at that time i have a pretty enormous crush on him..



My first love of coz definitely don't look anything like that person above.hehe..He's a chinese malay mix and guess where I met him..At a River Valley High Girl guides and scouts campfire..Yup, so very cliche..I know..But I guess sparks just flew between us across the campfire..He smiled and I smiled back and that's the start of a 3 year long relationship. I learned a lot from this relation and I can truly say I have never regretted it...in fact I should thank him(so Alfian if you happen to read this "thanks and you're the best 1st love anyone could ever have cause you completely made me realised wat relationship is all about and definitely made me into a better person" :D)

So anyways, of course most 1st love wouldn't last..we both out-grew with each other and wanted different things in our lives so we decided to move on.

After that I don't really want to be in a relationship and wanted to embrace my singlehood so I was single for most of the time while I was in ITE. And those times when I was attached, I wasn't really into it and I guess it does reflect, the relationship only last for a couple of months and I didn't even feel sad when it ended..I juz felt relieved hehe [Sorry to Mr whoever-you-are, I can't even remember your name and that is how insignificant you are to my life but thank you all the same cause you taught me the lesson that relationship are not like fairy tales sometime it just doesn't end with a happy ending].

After I had two relationships without a happy ending, I told myself that I should just left fate decide and stop hoping and searching for love. During this time, I'm not sure why but I just blossomed I guess..Guys started asking me out and I would go of course because it was a compliment to have guys ask you out but something was missing...I was so not having fun during the dates and the only fun I had was after it when I was dissecting the date and laughing about it with my best guy friend :)As it goes, this best guy friend of mine is like an enemy and a motivator all rolled up in one..Sometimes he tormented me so much that I seriously had thought of ways to hurt him badly and sometimes I feel like he is the only person in the whole wide world that understands and accepts me exactly the way that I am. He's the only person who could understand the way that I'm feeling without me talking about it and at times, we could even complete each other sentences..Yup I know cliche again but its true :)

At that time, I did think that maybe this is the guy that fate had brought to me but both of us were absolute polar opposite so I convinced myself that he could not possibly the one. WE remained best of friends till we had to work together 24/7 on our final year project...That is the period that really sucks..We fought all the time and could not really agree on anything, it magnified the fact that both of us are truly 2 completely different people..There is still this one time I still remember how angry he was at over a mistake I made and I remembered feeling that I was not being appreciated..And he had the dubious title of the only guy that made me cry. That I is when I realise that actually I really cared about him more than a friend, no other guy had ever made me cry before cause if u know me well, I hate to cry..I will never cry over a guy unless I truly cared about him.

And the rest as they say is history, this fairy tale has not yet reached its ending but i sure hope it will be a happily ever after ;)

One of the movies that you need to watch in your lifetime: THE NOTEBOOK

The movie "The Notebook" really had leave a deep impression on me. Although most people would classify this movie as a tear-jerker but for me, not a single tear rolled down my cheeks. Cause this movie made me feel joy not sadness. It made me feel that true love still exist in this selfish, selfish reality and that one day maybe one day the love that Noah had for Allie will happen to me :) You see I'm a little sceptical about love. I don't really believe in forever[which is kinda sad] but this movie gives me hope that love will truly grow with time and it won't fade away into obligation.

As always, my "fren" will say these things only happen in movies, books and fairy tales and he don't understand why girls always fall for the same tricks again and again. I told him that I know these things won't really happen in real life[girls are really not that dumb] but at least it gives me the reason to dream and that is enough for me ;)



P/S: Don't you think that Ryan Gosling look so much like Fernando Torres..[Cue in *SIGH*]

Obsessive addiction part 2

I watched Grey's anatomy yesterday and this quote from Meredith completely hit the nail in the head[Hehe you know what I mean rite..(For those u doesn't, it's a metaphor)].Check my previous post if you want to know more.

"In the hospital, we see addiction every day. It's shocking how many kinds of addiction exist. It would be too easy if it were just drugs and booze and cigarettes. I think the hardest part of kicking a habit is wanting to kick it. I mean, we get addicted for a reason, right? Often, too often, things that start out as just a normal part of your life at some point cross the line to obsessive, compulsive, out of control. It's the high we're chasing, the high that makes everything else fade away."

- Meredith Grey

The worst thing that you can get addicted to is "L.O.V.E". I feel that sometimes addiction comes so naturally to us that we don't even know that we are addicted until we are forced to go "cold turkey".

And to continue the Theme of addiction..Below is the song "Addicted" from simple plan for your enjoyment :)