Just truly utterly tired

So sorry about all the negative posts lately..I know its not like me to keep posting all this negatives..But I had to have a place where I could be upset when I want to..and stop faking my smiles even though I'm hurting inside..But don't worry this is just a phase that I have to go through..I'll be fine soon..I've been there and done that..It'll be okay..(Hehe looks like I'm just trying to console myself)..Talking abt faking it, all these issues(I have to call it issues cause I believe it can be resolved) came just at a time where I'm supposed to look and feel happy..If u haven't guess it, It's hari raya..And every year , I am the enthusiatic one in the family, the one who always looking forward to Hari Raya..The one who keeps everybody excited about celebrating..But this year due to all the issues, I really do not feel like celebrating..I'm tired of smiling because inside I feel like crying...But I had no choice but have to fake up the enthusiam..And now I know how hard it is to fake being happy..That is when suddenly I feel tired...Tired of making ppl happy..Tired of hiding what I'm truly feeling...Tired of waking up every morning and forcing myself to face the day... Simply just truly utterly tired...

When Love becomes hate

This loneliness is smothering me again
all I can feel now is the hurt and the pain
So tired of putting up a brave face
Someone please help me move on from this place

Tears begin to flow
and I had no idea why
I can't stop them from flowing
No matter how hard i try

I need to stay strong
maybe It was fate
Everything has gone so wrong
When love becomes hate

PAIN

Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers, you just breath deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed but sometimes the pain gets you where you least expect it. Hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it and life always makes more.

Dr. Meredith Grey
Grey's Anatomy


This is my favourite quote from grey's anatomy. Most people would say that you won't learn anything from watching TV but that is so far from the truth. Sometimes watching TV could make you see things in a different way and put things in perspective..

Pain..Most people wish for a life without pain but pain is there for a reason..Pain is there to teach us how to be wiser..cause we will never learn without pain ..