Just truly utterly tired

So sorry about all the negative posts lately..I know its not like me to keep posting all this negatives..But I had to have a place where I could be upset when I want to..and stop faking my smiles even though I'm hurting inside..But don't worry this is just a phase that I have to go through..I'll be fine soon..I've been there and done that..It'll be okay..(Hehe looks like I'm just trying to console myself)..Talking abt faking it, all these issues(I have to call it issues cause I believe it can be resolved) came just at a time where I'm supposed to look and feel happy..If u haven't guess it, It's hari raya..And every year , I am the enthusiatic one in the family, the one who always looking forward to Hari Raya..The one who keeps everybody excited about celebrating..But this year due to all the issues, I really do not feel like celebrating..I'm tired of smiling because inside I feel like crying...But I had no choice but have to fake up the enthusiam..And now I know how hard it is to fake being happy..That is when suddenly I feel tired...Tired of making ppl happy..Tired of hiding what I'm truly feeling...Tired of waking up every morning and forcing myself to face the day... Simply just truly utterly tired...