Thursday, July 31, 2008

THE DAY I BETRAYED MY BEST FRIEND

Yes, I betrayed my best friend. I betrayed her trust and her faith in me. I did it knowingly and willingly. Even though I knew it is going to cause her pain and I know for sure that this is going to change my friendship with her. But still did it anyway..I did it for my own selfish reason..I just want my best friend back..

Imagine you have been friends with someone for 12 long years and have been together throughout the good and bad that life have to offer. Imagine the bubbly and outgoing girl that you thought you had known so well suddenly became a whole different person altogether. A person that you know wasn't her and there is a chance to get back the bubbly amazing girl that you used to know. So can you understand now why i had to do it? Why I had to betray her?

It upsets me a lot and makes me feel really miserable that this illness is taking my best friend away from me..She had been having these episodes for a while and I did nothing..I refuse to believe that she is sick and would rather believe in a denial than to face the cold truth.

One day, I no longer could deny it cause I felt that she is no longer there with me and she had turned into another person...I felt so helpless then..I knew that she needed help before she gets any deeper and before she hurts herself or hurts someone else. The only way for her to get help is for me to betray her...So I have to harden my heart and lie point blank in her face so that she will get help she needed.

And she being the girl that she is thought of nothing when I told her we were going to have lunch at IMH..And that is truly the ultimate trust that one could have for a person and I betrayed that..

It hurts me the most when I saw her all tied up on her bed because she refuses to co-operate and turned violent..With pleading eyes, she asked me "why did you bring me here? You don't think that I'm crazy right?"

With tears brimming in my eyes, I told her "No, I don't think you are crazy..You are just sick. The doctors here will help you get better"

So with that, I betrayed my best friend for my own selfish reason of wanting her back. And till now, I still don't know if what I did was right or wrong..But sometimes in life, there are choices that you have to make but you don't want to..And this is one of the hardest choices, I have to make in my life.

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In my point of view it wasn't selfishness but it was again love for a friend that made you do so.